Mary J. Blige credits her fans with saving her from suicidal thoughts.
The 50-year-old musician has admitted she considered taking her own life early in her professional career but ultimately chose to seek help because she knew she had fans who were counting on her.
She said: “I think subconsciously, I was like, ‘Oh I can’t kill myself now. All these people, somebody’s going to come behind me’ because people were too diehard and strong and emotional about this album. So, I believe in my subconscious, I was like, ‘I can’t [die] now. I’ve just got to thug this out. I’ve got to push through.’ And so I just kept pushing and pushing, no matter how hard it got, no matter how ugly it got.”
The “Family Affair” hitmaker has been dealing with her mental health for over two decades, and although it’s an ongoing process, Blige says she’s in a much better place than she used to be.
She added to People magazine: “It’s not as bad as it was, I’m in a great place. But I have to fight for my freedom and my happiness every single day because that was some heavy imprisonment, you know?”
Meanwhile, Blige opened up in December about the pain she dealt with in wake of her 2016 divorce from Kendu Isaacs, whom she was married to for 13 years.
She said: “I just gotta thug this out until something excellent comes along. I don’t know when that’s gonna happen. But, I’d rather be myself than to keep making the same mistakes over and over again. I’m going to be patient and sift through this thing and love on me right now.”
And Blige also previously discussed how music has helped saved her life.
She said: “Music was a vessel God used to save my life. If I did not have music … I probably wouldn’t be here.
“There were so many things that happened … My mom struggling to raise us as a single mother.
“My dad not being around as a little kid, letting us struggle in a place that was terrible. I love him and respect him now, but I was angry for years about it.”
