The title of this chapter in Tameka Foster Raymond‘s life is called inner peace.
The 52-year-old fashion stylist and author recently released her memoir, Here I Stand in a Beautiful State, to convey how she has navigated relationship trauma. After overcoming two divorces, including an ongoing custody battle with ex-husband Usher Raymond IV, the serial entrepreneur and mother has not only taken accountability on her end, but is choosing to find peace in it all.
In an exclusive interview with rolling out, Raymond talked about getting past hurts in relationships and the advice she has for women today.
What tips do you have for women when it comes to navigating romantic relationships?
I would probably tell ladies today not to major in the minors. I think I spent a lot of time majoring in the minors. In both instances, sometimes you have to forgive things that just kind of don’t make sense to fight about. If it’s not going to affect you in six months, let it go. That goes for everything. It’s not just about a marriage or a boyfriend-girlfriend situation.
How have you remained strong despite your relationship outcomes?
When I was married, I wasn’t as secure and confident. I went through a lot of public ridicule. I had more people vocally against me and my relationship. It was hurtful. It messed with my psyche a little bit, but I’m in a beautiful state [now] and that’s the message of my book. If I were to give you something in one line, it would say, “Here I stand in a beautiful state,” because I am trying to drive home the importance of [that]. That doesn’t mean that you won’t get mad, it doesn’t mean you won’t blow up or check the h— out of somebody. It means you’re going to go back to being in a beautiful state. You’re going to say it and you’re going to find your peace in it.
Is it possible to be the bigger person when it comes to conflicts?
Some people say just ignore things, but I’m not really good at that. I don’t think I can even evolve into that person. I do address things because after losing my son [Kile Glover, in a 2012 boating accident], I know that life is short, and you may not always get that opportunity. If I feel that [if someone has] wronged me or did something, I’m very vocal but I’m not confrontational. It makes me sleep better and I sleep so well. I really do, because I don’t have things on my chest.
