Crystal Renay has a story that resonates with millions of women. After meeting the man of her dreams and falling in love, she learned the hard way that happily ever after is just a phrase from a fairy tale. The only thing that separated Renay from other women experiencing the same heartbreak, was that her Prince Charming happened to be a famous superstar, known for serenading audiences with love songs that would melt the strongest woman’s resolve.
Looking back over her relationship, Renay can admit there were red flags, and yes, even warning lights, but the heart wants what it wants and she was caught up. Defenseless against Ne-Yo’s charms, Renay experienced a whirlwind romance, wedding and family life before being slapped in the face with the harsh reality of divorce.
Conquering life’s obstacles is nothing new for Renay as she overcame a difficult upbringing in the foster care system of Ft. Myers, Florida.
“Heartbreak is heartbreak whether it comes from a man, family or friends, it is the same. Growing up I was in and out of foster care back and forth with my mother and my grandmother. My mother had a lot of issues going on. That went on until age 12, by age 15, I was on my own. It still brings me pain to talk about it. But it gave me a strength that I didn’t know that I had. I’m sad that certain things happened but I’m grateful. There is nothing that could break me now. I learned how to be strong and persevere through anything. I have a fighter bone in me because of all that I’ve gone through,” Renay explains.
When Renay met Ne-Yo she had worked hard to gain financial stability.
“I was hustling [and] making good money when I met him. I was hosting parties and making sometimes 25K a week doing that. When I met Ne-Yo, it wasn’t about the money. My heart felt safe with him. I wasn’t very trusting but I was always very transparent. He wanted us to sit down and tell each other everything. Never tell a man everything that you’ve been through, it just gives him the threshold of pain that you are able to endure,” Renay says.
“I really thought I could relax emotionally and that he would take care of my heart. That was the biggest mistake I could’ve made, because it caused me to overlook what was really happening around me. This experience has taught me to never give anyone that type of power over you. People will fail you every time,” Renay says.
After a very public engagement, wedding and then marriage, social media blogs started reporting there was trouble in the A-list crooner’s paradise. After the rumor mill cranked up, Renay announced on Instagram that she was indeed leaving Ne-Yo and filing for divorce.
“My daughter had just turned 1. I didn’t have a plan. I didn’t think about what was to come or what was to be. I just knew that I had to go. My deal-breaker was cheating and the lengths and depths of cheating that I saw let me know I had to go. I left that next day and I never looked back,” she states.
Her relationship with Ne-Yo is what sparked her interest in cooking. “I’ve always loved food but never knew how to cook. I went through a time of being depressed so I started cooking. I was burning stuff in the beginning. Cooking became therapy for me. I started sharing it online and it started getting recognition. I got my first meal kit deal and sold out within an hour. I always say God will turn your pain into power,” she says.
Today, Renay is part owner of four Johnny’s Chicken USA franchises and looks forward to continuing to build her empire.
Renay has dealt with some backlash after joining “Bold & Bougie,” Carlos King’s new show, starring Tameka Foster, the ex-wife of Usher; Malaysia Pargo from “Basketball Wives”; and Princess Banton-Lofters, creator of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta.” Critics accused the show of capitalizing on Ne-Yo and Usher’s fame for ratings. Renay says she saw the show as an opportunity for a new beginning.
“I swore after the E! show that I wouldn’t do reality TV again, but Carlos King reached out and he is someone near and dear to me. I’ve turned down ‘Housewives’ five times. I’ve turned down ‘Love & Hip Hop.’ I think with everything going on, it was an opportunity for me to tell my story on my own terms. And I thought this would be the perfect platform to share my story,” she says.
Renay hopes that her story will be an inspiration to other women contemplating leaving a situation that no longer serves them. Leaving Ne-Yo wasn’t easy, but she says she has never hesitated to walk away from a man who didn’t treat her the way she deserved to be treated.
“I would not do anything differently in the way I left that situation,” she says. “I’m actually very proud of myself for standing up for me. To other women going through something like I went through, I would say give yourself grace. Women are usually starting with a negative tank, so sometimes you have to forcefully take that time and be selfish. Patience and little bit of selfishness are needed sometimes for women, especially mothers.”
“Bold & Bougie” airs Thursdays on WE tv at 9 p.m. EDT.
Photography by SZN and WE tv
