There are rules to this lifestyle called swinging. The main one is being honest about your age and relationship status. Open sex can be a bad experience if you don’t. Los Angeles-based author Daniel Stern took research to a whole new level for his book that uncovers the free-for-all-sex subculture. When he was wet behind the ears and a mere virgin to this lifestyle, he had women 30 years his senior at a sex party vying for the opportunity to be his first.
But, when he was broken in, he engaged on average in three playdates a week. What are playdates you ask? Having sex with couples.
He also explains why single women, who are rare and treasured, are called “unicorns,” and the varied swinging encounters: one-on-one, threesomes, the hard or full swap (a foursome when two couples all have sex, a soft swap — couples switch partners but no oral or intercourse takes place) and group sex.
In his new book, he suggests aspiring swingers be open minded, avoid judgment and handle rejection with poise.
Just how did Stern break his pelvis? An athletic partner three him on the floor.
Touting himself as a regular guy, Stern offers why he took his research so far, “By subjecting myself to sexual experience after sexual experience after sexual experience I was demystifying the act of sex, desensitizing my reaction to it and chipping away at the fear it held over me and beneath which I was pinned.
“Now, years later, I’d escaped that tonnage of performance-hindering anxiety and understood sex for what it was: fun.”
