Whether you’re carrying on the family name in politics, medicine, corporate America, ministry, sports or entertainment, your business is inherently impacted by your relationship. While some are able to clarify roles and establish mutual understanding about values and mission, others allow the family drama to bleed into the business. Consequently, the quality of the family relationship and the success of the business are negatively impacted by narcissism, nepotism and favoritism. The Lyon family has demonstrated a sense of togetherness during moments of tragedy and angst, but the literal “ride or die” stance helps brew their toxic tea. As a family therapist, I hear similar stories involving the trauma of side-taking, scapegoating and controlling behaviors. In this case, the parents expect the boys to choose. Instead of focusing on compromise and the greater good, the family is in turmoil and the business is at risk.
Family lessons useful for addressing dilemmas include:
– Finding a balance between honoring tradition and being considerate of new ideas and strategies
– Separating personal issues and family business conflict
– Being aware of power dynamics, including fear and control
– Creating a safe space and making time to openly address conflict and potential solutions
– Recognizing that disagreement does not equate to disloyalty
– Facilitating family forgiveness and holding each other accountable from a place of love and respect
Families in the limelight struggle with these issues, in addition to the pressure of maintaining the façade of strength and harmony. Sports and entertainment families, in addition to other high-performing professionals, face multiple stressors and challenges. Oftentimes, there is little to no time to grieve, destress or rejuvenate. The media personality must appeal to the viewers/listeners. The elected official must serve the public. The athlete must play the game. The entertainer must be flawless and amusing. The surgeon must conduct the procedure. The entrepreneur or administrator must run the business. The common is dilemma is that they must all focus on someone or something other than themselves, even in the midst of a crisis.
Hakeem had to bounce back and perform after being kidnapped. Lucious pulls the trigger of a gun, a re-enactment from his traumatic past, to put out a banger to revive the label. He also constantly compensates for the lack of affection during his childhood by recklessly doing anything necessary to make a hit and win. His outward bravado of control is merely inner insecurity from the powerlessness of his youth. Andre fights the temptation to keep old things passed away, as he tries to turn over a new spiritual leaf. Anika positions herself for affection, but hijacks Hakeem’s new boo in a disgraceful attempt to take back what she’s lost. Cookie gets intimate while yearning for love and acceptance after multiple mistakes. We also get a peak of the sibling relationship, as Cookie’s estranged sister shockingly reaches out to inform her about the latest family crisis.
Where does that leave us, as we begin this season of sharing and giving thanks? How can this drama-filled family remind us of opportunities to improve our relationships? As we prepare for feasts, consider necessary cleansings to help us grow. While we’re decorating and shopping, let us remember the significance of our core values and the gifts that are priceless. Let us individually and collectively focus on love, unity, cooperation, gratitude and faith. Let us preserve our empires by meeting our predicaments with purpose and persistence and our dilemmas with determination and dedication.
