Rolling Out

Do you need a new bed?

african american couple
Photo credit: Monkey Business Images /

There was a recent debate in one of my social media groups. This is the question that was posed:

You’re dating someone, things get serious and the two of you start to talk about moving in together. However, your mate insists on getting a new bed because they refuse to sleep in a bed you had sex with someone else in. Would you go bed shopping or look at them like they are crazy?

My response was that it was a ridiculous notion. If two people are at the point of discussing living together, chances are that they have likely already had sex in each other’s beds. Those are the same beds that they had sex with other people in, so why would it be an issue after shacking up?

Mattresses are not cheap. A good set can cost upward of two thousand dollars. Even if you purchase a new mattress set, and go half on it, then what happens to the bed frame? Will the person expect to put out additional money for a new frame? Most beds are part of a bedroom set. Then you start talking about four to six thousand dollars to redo the entire bedroom.

Now I am all for cleaning the mattress (should be doing that anyway), purchasing new mattress covers, flipping the mattress and all of that. But to purchase a new bed because of some type of insecurity makes no sense. No matter who was in the bed before, you are in the bed now, and considered worthy enough to move on to the next stage of living together. Some people make their own lives complicated. Whenever you stay in a hotel, it is likely that numerous people have had sex in that same bed, possibly even the same day that you check in. Complete strangers could have been slapping skins at 10 a.m., the room is cleaned, and then you check in at 3 p.m.

I can understand certain things, like wanting old photographs with past lovers to be stored away. Getting rid of the bed won’t change the fact that they probably had sex on their sofa with someone else, on their rug with someone else, or even on their kitchen table with someone else. Why not take it further and insist on all new furniture, new sheets, new rugs, new pillows, or even a new residence altogether? Where do the demands and insecurities end?

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