Dating tips for women over 40

black woman in her 40s
Photo credit: Blend Images / Shutterstock.com

As a woman over 40 myself, I feel confident in saying that the dating game has changed significantly. The dating advice that worked in your 20s is not the same advice that you’re seeking now at 40-plus. Here’s why:

  • The dating game has changed significantly since you were in your 20s. Now there’s texting, sexting, speed dating, online dating, etc., are all feasible options in the 21st century. If you are unfamiliar with these tools or think they’re only for desperate women, you could be sabotaging your success dramatically.
  • As a woman over 40, your main focus is not necessarily getting married and having children. You may have already been married and had children, or perhaps neither is true, but either one could be a non-issue for you now.
  • There are two types of women dating over 40. Some are looking for someone similar in age and interests that they can develop a long-term relationship with. The others are cougars looking to date younger men. Cougars are also more likely to be looking to date to have fun; as opposed to sifting through potential mates to find Mr. Right.

Whatever your situation may be, here are some dating tips for women over 40:


  1. Get out of the house. Regardless of what you think, you’re not going to meet anyone sitting at home. Get dressed and make it happen!
  2. Don’t advertise your achievements or wealth. You should be dating seriously before a man learns of your many career or life achievements. If he seems more interested in your success and status than in being in love with you, he is not the one for you, so politely cut him off.
  3. Avoid gold diggers. Your potential mate should be putting his best foot forward and not talking about his tax debts, child support, alimony or bank liens. If every conversation is about him needing cash, please cut him off. (Ladies, never open your purse and lend your date money).
  4. Take your time. Your life story is valuable. There’s no need to tell your potential mate everything about you in three dates. Take your time and slowly reveal yourself.  If he wants to be with you, he’ll stick around to find out more about you. Remember, you are precious!
  5. Look appealing. You don’t have to look like a model, but let him know (without telling him) that you care about how you look. Polish that one nail with the chipped polish and don’t look like you just rolled out the bed without combing your hair. Really?
  6. Be honest. Always be honest about what you’re looking for. It doesn’t matter if it’s a booty call or a potential mate for marriage, always be honest with the men that you meet. If you’re honest from the beginning, you stand greater chances of meeting a man with the same interests and cuts down on potential disappointments.
  7. Enjoy yourself. Just because you’re over 40, it doesn’t mean the world has come to an end. Sometimes older women get self-conscious about their age when it comes to dating. Just get out and enjoy yourself. You’ll be surprised at how many men will be attracted to your fun, youthful spirit.

Dating at any age is challenging, but if you’re over 40, pay close attention to these tips, as it will save you a lot of heartache and disappointments. Life is too short!

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