If anyone believes in the power of Black love, it’s Stacii Jae Johnson, Ph.D. The bestselling author is one of the most in-demand dating coaches on social media and was recently named the host of the all-new “Put A Ring On It,” Will Packer’s reality show about couples therapy, which airs on the OWN network.
Johnson believes helping others find their path to a healthy fulfilling love is her life’s purpose.
“This isn’t about a job or a television show for me. It’s so much more than that. My mother died from cancer at 56 years old or at least that’s what they said. My mother was on her fifth divorce at the time,” Johnson reveals with tears in her eyes. “She never gave up and to me this is an opportunity to give back to her. Love is something worth fighting for, something we should never give up on. My mother is my inspiration, so for me it’s not about a job, this is my life’s purpose.”
The “Put a Ring On It” series focuses on three couples who have come to a turning point in their relationship; either they will head down the aisle together or they will consider going their separate ways. Johnson is awaiting them at the fork in the road, prepared to coach them toward a healthier version of themselves that will either include marriage or reintroduce them to the single life in hopes of finding happily ever after elsewhere.
“My goal is not to coach them as a couple but really to focus on them being a healthier version of themselves. Once they fix themselves, the issues in their relationships will ultimately fix themselves,” she says.
Like many dating coaches, Johnson believes people attract what they are. After 10 years of coaching and counseling singles, she’s learned that whenever someone is constantly pointing a finger at their partner, the problem inevitably lies with the person making the accusations.
“Relationships reflect who we are. When I hear people say they attracted a narcissist, my question to them is what is it about you that drew them to you? What lesson did you need to learn from that experience? There was something in you that attracted that situation and you need to figure out what that was so that it doesn’t happen again,” Johnson says.
The couples who signed up for televised counseling before saying “I do” probably had no idea what to expect, but Johnson says she admires their courage.
“I don’t take it for granted that these people trusted me with their lives. It was important that I held both sides accountable at all times. I’m going to call a spade a spade. Either we got a spade and a spade or a spade and a club but either way I’m calling you out on it,” she laughs.
Being able to relate to both men and women is a gift but Johnson said she was especially moved seeing the men show emotion during the sessions.
“There is something about seeing a Black man cry and be completely vulnerable with his feelings. It lets you know that not only did you create a safe space but that he trusts you. That’s big. I don’t take that for granted,” she says.
Bringing her coaching method to a national platform with the couples on ‘Put a Ring On It’ is a dream come true for Johnson. Her bestselling book, Date Girl! 143 Reasons Why I Believe Women Should Date Multiple Men encouraged women to stop settling for less and to get to know themselves, including their likes and dislikes through the dating process. She was praised for empowering women to stop operating out of desperation and instead to enjoy dating as a part of the journey toward self-discovery.
Johnson says her prayer has always been to touch a million lives with the message of the power of a healthy, loving relationship.
“It’s about changing the way we look at love from a generational perspective. If we get mothers taking accountability and having a different conversation with their daughters — that’s how we’ll see real change in the ways our communities are structured and the narrative between Black men and Black women. It happens one conversation at a time,” she says.
The new season of “Put a Ring On It” premieres Friday. March 17 on the OWN Network at 9 p.m. EST.
Photos provided by OWN
