The Rev. Jamal Harrison Bryant, the dynamic pastor of metro Atlanta’s New Birth Missionary Baptist Church, has built a reputation for delivering powerful messages that resonate far beyond the pulpit. He brings the same passionate energy to his role as a father of five daughters. The Morehouse College and Duke University graduate, who once directed the collegiate division of the NAACP before entering ministry, recently shared his blueprint for effective fatherhood through what he calls the “10 commandments for fathers.”
Drawing from both his pastoral experience and personal journey as a father, Rev. Bryant challenges conventional wisdom about parenting, emphasizing emotional intelligence, consistency, and presence over traditional notions of provision and authority.
What does Rev. Bryant believe fathers should show their children first?
“Show your children not just your touchdowns, but your tackles,” Rev. Bryant emphasized. “They need to know where you failed before you succeeded.”
This first commandment establishes Rev. Bryant’s philosophy that authenticity trumps perfection in parenting. Rather than presenting an unrealistic image of constant success, he advocates for vulnerability and transparency about life’s challenges.
How does Bryant distinguish between providing and being present?
“Make sure you are a father who is present, more than just providing,” he stated. “Children remember trips more than they remember gifts.”
The second commandment addresses what Rev. Bryant sees as a common misconception among fathers who equate financial support with effective parenting. His emphasis on experiential bonding over material gifts reflects a deeper understanding of what creates lasting parent-child connections.
What role should humility play in fatherhood?
“Remember that you don’t know everything. There’s something that your children can teach you, and as a consequence, you’ve gotta be a student of life,” Rev. Bryant explained.
This third principle positions fathers as learners rather than sole teachers, creating space for mutual growth and respect in the parent-child relationship.
How does Rev. Bryant use the film metaphor to describe child development?
“Your children are like film. In order to be developed, they have gotta get some exposure,” he shared as his fourth commandment.
This analogy suggests that children need varied experiences and challenges to reach their full potential, requiring fathers to thoughtfully provide opportunities for growth rather than overprotecting them.
What does Bryant mean by announcing changes to children?
“Remember that when you put on your turn signal, the only people that can hear it are in the car. Announce to your children what’s getting ready to change, what’s getting ready to shift, and what’s getting ready to happen,” he advised.
The fifth commandment emphasizes communication and preparation, ensuring children aren’t blindsided by family transitions or major decisions.
How to define consistency in parenting?
“The best shows always have a rerun. Make sure that if you did it right the first time, keep doing it again. Children don’t need tricks. They need consistency,” he explained.
This sixth principle prioritizes reliability over novelty, suggesting that effective parenting strategies should be repeated rather than constantly changed.
What cooking appliance does Bryant compare fatherhood to and why?
“Fatherhood is like a crockpot, not like a microwave,” Bryant said. “You gotta sit with it a long time. You don’t see the effect immediately, but over time and process, finally the journey comes to its full extent.”
Drawing from biblical wisdom about training children, his seventh commandment emphasizes patience and long-term investment over quick fixes or immediate results.
What is the protective role of fathers?
“You have got to be like bubble wrap, understanding that you are entrusted with covering something that is so fragile, so gentle, but the only way that they’ll make it is if you’ll put your arms around it,” he stated. No matter how hard you think you are, your child needs your hug, they need your kiss, they need your affirmation.
The eighth commandment balances strength with tenderness, emphasizing physical and emotional affection as essential components of fatherhood.
What the distinction between being upset and enraged?
“Let your children see you upset, but never let them see you enraged,” Bryant said. “The Bible says, ‘Be ye angry, but sin not.’ So, it’s okay to talk about your disappointment, your frustration, and even your tolerance, but you gotta realize that your child is not your friend, they’re not your army buddy, and they’re not a stranger in the club. Treat them with kindness, with gentleness, and with ease.”
This ninth commandment addresses emotional regulation, advocating for honest expression of feelings while maintaining appropriate boundaries and respect.
How does Rev. Bryant use sports metaphors to describe comprehensive fatherhood?
“If you are a sports enthusiast and you’re a father, you’ve gotta learn how to play every role,” he said. “You gotta be your child’s cheerleader. You’ve gotta be a quarterback and throw them the opportunity. You gotta be that defensive in and block them from everything, and you gotta give them the plays by being their coach.”
His final commandment encompasses the multifaceted nature of fatherhood, requiring men to adapt their approach based on what their children need in different situations.
Rev. Bryant’s commandments represent a holistic approach to fatherhood that combines spiritual wisdom with practical application. As a father of five daughters himself — Topaz, Grace, Adore, Angel, and Naomi — his insights come from lived experience as well as pastoral counseling.
The minister’s message arrives at a crucial time when discussions about involved fatherhood and emotional intelligence in parenting continue to evolve. His emphasis on presence, consistency, and emotional availability offers a roadmap for fathers seeking to build stronger relationships with their children while maintaining appropriate authority and guidance.
Through his various media platforms and pastoral work, Rev. Bryant continues to influence conversations about family dynamics and spiritual leadership, making his fatherhood commandments part of a broader ministry focused on empowerment and practical wisdom for everyday challenges.
