Last month, actor Wentworth Miller had the whole internet doing a double take after he decided to surprisingly come out of the closet in protest to Russia’s controversial anti-gay laws and discrimination. Now, the former “Prison Break” star is opening up about his struggles with his sexuality and has admitted that he tried to kill himself when he was a teenager.
According to E! News, Miller made the shocking revelation during the Human Rights Campaign Dinner in Seattle Saturday night, saying that he tried to overdose on pills when his parents were away.
“The first time I tried to kill myself I was 15,” he said. “I waited until my family went away for the weekend and I was alone in the house and I swallowed a bottle of pills. I don’t remember what happened over the next couple days, but I’m pretty sure come Monday morning I was on a bus back to school pretending everything was fine. And when someone asked me if that was a cry for help, I say no, because I told no one.”
Miller explained that life in the closet was hell for him during his childhood and that he was often tormented for not being masculine enough.
“Growing up I was a target,” said Miller. “Speaking the right way, standing the right way, holding your wrist the right way. Every day was a test and there was a thousand ways to fail. A thousand ways to portray yourself to not live up to someone else’s standards of what was accepted.”
Miller explains that the he carried those same insecurities and closet mentality into adulthood and ultimately into his acting career, which he feared would result in him being targeted in the industry if he came out.
“I had multiple opportunities to speak my truth, which is that I was gay, but I chose not to. I was out privately to family and friends—publicly, I was not,” Miller said. “I chose to lie—when I thought about the possibility of coming out, how that might impact me and the career I worked so hard for, I was filled with fear.”
However, Miller finally overcame that fear when he came out In August when he refused to attend a film festival in Russia. “As a gay man, I must decline. I am deeply troubled by the current attitude toward and treatment of gay men and women by the Russian government.”
Miller has finally embraced who he is and is comfortable with unabashedly sharing his truth to the world. Hopefully, his story will help shed light on the damaging effects of homophobia and effemiphobia and the ever-present issue of suicide in young LGBT people.
Check out a list of other stars who attempted suicide below. – nicholas robinson