Will orange be the new black for 'Black Ink Crew's' Sky?

Everyone’s world went topsy turvy on Monday night’s episode of VH1’s “Black Ink Crew” when we found out our “fly Sky” could be facing nine years in prison. Gasp! Somebody bring me two martinis — both dirty, with olives. The “Black Ink” trio — Teddy, Ceasar and Dutchess headed to Arizona to see what it would take to get their employee and friend out of the slammer. Upon arrival, the crew met with Sky’s lawyer who advised them the outcome might not be pretty, with the possible jail time she was facing

While I was praying Teddy didn’t pass out like Suge Knight in the courtroom upon receiving news of his $25 million bond, Sky’s lawyer was actually able to get her sentence reduced to two months in jail. However, she has to spend the two months housed in a tent at an outdoor facility.

On Sky’s recently discharged boyfriend, Bobby

Where the heck is Bobby everyone kept asking. You remember Bobby? Sky’s jailbird boyfriend whom she was saving herself for while she was sleeping with Teddy until Bobby got released from jail. Oops! Did I say that? Bartender! Another martini, please.  Well, everyone was ragging on Bobby for not going to Arizona to see about Sky, but ummmm, hello? How was he supposed to get there? Walk? I think Bobby is not mobile and seeing as he just got out of jail himself, he probably is on probation and can’t leave the state of New York. I’d doubt his track flip phone can receive collect calls so how was he going to call her? I’d almost be willing to gamble 50 bucks and swear that Bobby has no idea Sky is in jail or missing. (And I only wrote “almost” because I don’t even gamble and if I decided to start I wouldn’t be placing bets on Bobby).

When you get out of jail Sky, you know it’s time to chuck up the deuces to Bobby. But rest assured Teddy Ruxpin will be right there to put that money on your books. Is Teddy Ruxpin in love or what? Is he a care bear now? I love it. The Tedster is now a reformed playboy who is in love with my Skybird soon to be a former jailbird. But we still love you Sky, keep prayerful and you know where you who you have to rely on for strength to pull you through this. We are all rooting for you and will be right here waiting with open arms when you are set free.

Seeing as Teddy did six months himself in jail and he was also at one point facing a 3-6 year-sentence, he has empathy for Sky at this point. Besides I think he has been struck by either Cupid or the snapper. Can you blame him? It was very romantic for Teddy to confess he would sit in jail and do the time for SKYY if he was given the option. He does not want his pretty little butterfly in that nasty place doing time with those women lurking around looking at Sky like she is a hot buttered biscuit ready to be sopped up with maple syrup.

I have to admit it broke my heart to see Sky behind bars out in the prison yard crying and breaking down about the entire situation she got herself into. But I do have one concern and this may not be the appropriate time to ask but, “What were you thinking Sky?” You admitted that you were on the run from the law and in the midst of hiding you thought you would accept an offer to do a reality TV show? Hmm, let me guess, the call went something like this. “Yes, Mr Producer, I am Sky, I am available for your nationally syndicated television show. Meet you where?” Then you got in your car and thought “the feds will never find me on national TV. What a perfect place to hide.” Not a good plan.Why did O’S**t let Donna move in?

Let’s change the topic. I’m getting depressed, so while I’m feeling blue, let’s talk about O’S**t.

What were you thinking? Living with your jumpoff and passing her off as a “friend,” but you are living in a one-bedroom apartment and you know your girl is pregnant. Do you know how sensitive a pregnant woman is? She’s carrying your child in her womb and you at your place playing the “womb inspector” with Donna. I have one word for you: #disappointed. At least you stuck it out in rehab (not that you had a better choice). But let’s see, addiction led you to not being there for your kids, letting down your fiancée Anya, Donna ends up homeless and Anya ends up in the hospital with her 2-month-old in the care of who knows.

Neither one of them deserved what you dished out to them. I’m hoping you have learned a very valuable lesson.

1. Stop getting high

2. Stop using drugs and (see No. 1)

3. Stop drinking

You have these two women out fighting over an irresponsible addict. Perhaps Donna and Anya need to back away from the relationship game and read some books on self-love and do some self-esteem building exercises with a professional. It’s time to grow up and evaluate your choices in life, especially when it comes to relationships. I will have to start a brand-new story to get into Ms. Sassy, but it’s coming lil lady.

Photo credit : VH1