A flourishing relationship doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, trust, patience and two people who are willing to make a conscious effort in developing a longterm commitment. It doesn’t matter if your ultimate goal is marriage, or you just want to keep your relationship on a happy track, please don’t make the following seven relationship mistakes:
- Never Try to Fix Your Mate. When you genuinely care about your mate, you nurture them with love and respect. This means accepting them for who they are and showing them that they are valued. Stop looking at your mate like a project and yourself as the construction worker hired to fix them. Remember, it’s God’s job to fix broken people, not you or your mate!
- Never Be Too Superior. If you want to destroy your relationship, then be sure to think of yourself as smarter, prettier, more handsome or more worthwhile than your mate. You make a conscious effort to put your mate down in order to feel good about yourself. Some people do have exceptional talents, but they are no more or less lovable or worthy than anyone else. Remember that!
- Never Seek Validation From Your Mate. You don’t need anyone’s validation to be happy. So don’t wait around for someone else to give you permission to be yourself. It’s a state of mind that only you can create! Embrace it and then ask others to do the same!
- Never Hold Grudges. Make amends where you can and move on. Make peace with your mate as much as you are able to and realize that life is too short!
- Never Keep Secrets. Trust is truly the foundation of any relationship. Always speak the truth, no matter what the consequences. Being honest is the only way to be at peace with yourself and your mate. Like the saying goes, what happens in the dark, will truly come out in the light.
- Never Take Your Relationship For Granted. Make time for your mate, which is what allows you to breathe life into your relationship. Two people can be right next to each, yet miles apart. So, don’t ignore that special someone, but give them some undivided attention. Remember, relationships are not measured in miles, but by affection.
- Never Be Abusive. It’s amazing how people think that it’s ok to abuse other people, especially those that they care about. And, it’s not just physical or emotional. It can be negative comments, withholding affection, sarcastic remarks, refusing to talk, or even threatening to leave the relationship. As harmless as you think these negative actions are, they are much more damaging to relationships than what one may think. So, if you want your relationship to succeed, you must learn to resist these tendencies.
–myra c. harris is the author of How to Get a Man: From the Kitchen, to the Bedroom, to the Ring, which can be purchased at www.letaypublishing.com.
