“Ready to Love”, Will Packer’s new dating show on OWN, has tongues wagging in Atlanta as much of the cast is from the city known as one of the worst places in the U.S. for Black singles to find love.
Seven eligible bachelors were placed in a contest with 12 beautiful single women with love and the possibility of marriage as the end goal. In an effort to remain true to the dating landscape, four men were eliminated, leaving a playing field of three men and twelve women. Over the last two weeks, the men have had to decide which women they could see a future with, and it has played out like a bad version of Greg Behrendt’s 2004 book, He’s Just Not That Into You.
With most of the women vying for the attention of Atlanta realtor and entrepreneur Aaron Cottreal, he has managed to eclipse the other two men as the favorite and has his pick of the women. Instead of choosing one to whom he feels the most connected, Cottreal has managed to keep most of his admirers guessing.
In the most recent episode, bachelorette Melinda Ruff confronted Cottreal after she felt betrayed by his actions. True to her Southern roots, Ruff has cooked for Cottreal, asked him to go on several dates and even allowed herself to be vulnerable with him about her hopes that they will end up together. Apparently, Ruff’s feelings are very different than Cottreal’s, resulting in a bitter confrontation between the two, with her threatening to throw a glass of water in his face.
The scenario is all too familiar based on the social media response to the episode. Women across the web voiced their frustration with identifying the signs that a man is serious or simply toying with their emotions.
Rolling out asked Atlanta-based dating and relationship coach Stacii Jae Johnson to interpret the communication breakdown between Cottreal and Ruff. Johnson says Ruff shouldn’t feel discouraged because many women find themselves in situations like this.
“Often women make the mistake of being the ‘do-er’ instead of the ‘be-er,’ which is in line with their feminine energy. They should simply ‘be’ themselves and allow men to court them,” Johnson explains. “Many women don’t realize that being ‘you’ is enough for the right man. You don’t need to cook for him, ask him out, initiate conversation, etcetera.”
Johnson counsels women across the country who aren’t getting the results they desire when dating the opposite sex. She says women are often acting outside of their feminine energy and operating in masculine energy that can drive men away or ultimately result in women becoming heartbroken and rejected. She suggests that learning to operate in their feminine energy can also save women from feeling as if men have wasted their time because they will see the red flags early on and know if he is truly interested in pursuing her.
Johnson offers the following examples of feminine energy vs. masculine energy:
Feminine (Being) vs. Masculine (Doing)
Allowing / Surrender Control Intuitive Analytical Patient Impatient Nurturing Rushing Receiving Thrusting Soft Hard
OWN’s “Ready to Love” airs every Saturday at 10 p.m. ET/9 p.m. CT.
View the “Ready to Love” clip featuring Aaron Cottreal and Melinda Ruff here: