Day after day after day, I receive advice emails from women who are in the most ridiculous of situations with men. Often the men are at least 10-25 years their senior, still living from pillar to post, but their sex game is so strong, the women are delusional. The women believe that they can change the men for the better. Um, no, that is not going to happen. Men in their late 30s and up are settled in their ways. The only person who can change a man is that man. It sounds romantic and enchanting when we read stories of redemption and “turning over a new leaf” but ultimately, those people changed on their own.
As women, we have a natural desire to be nurturers, and an ambition to save people from their own demons. That is one reason so many women become teachers, social workers, nurses, doctors and therapists. We want to rescue the masses and feel like we are making a difference. But here is the thing: we cannot continue to fix others without first fixing ourselves.
There is something wrong if a woman allows herself to be openly and continuously mistreated by a man. I am talking being cursed out, pushed around, cheated on, and used for money. Something within these women makes them believe they are not worthy of better treatment. It is likely tied to self-esteem issues. Poor self-esteem is the underlying cause for the majority of negative experiences women go through. It is as simple as that. If I could create a magical pill, it would be one to enhance self-esteem.
Meanwhile, if you are a woman reading this today and you know in your heart that you are not happy in your current situation, make it your goal to become the change you want to see in the world. Set an example for your female friends and relatives by insisting on change and improvement from your man. If he cannot or will not make an effort to improve, do what you need to do. Victory begins with you.
